|1. Difficulty reaching partner on cell phone, or at work – Leaving multiple unanswered messages at work and on cell phones should cause worry. An unfaithful spouse will be very preoccupied with a new relationship, and less interested in their partner’s life and needs.2. Partner is paying more attention to his or her appearance – Buying new clothes, starting an exercise program, a new diet, and spending more time in the bathroom, are all important behaviors to watch for. A new love interest will spark the desire to look and feel good around them. Changes in appearance are very important to look for.3. Partner is preoccupied and less attentive – When someone is cheating, the stress of the situation can be manifested this way. A cheating spouse will be trying to juggle time, lies, and a busy schedule to maintain the affair. When a partner begins to be forgetful, and disconnected, it is usually a sign of something deeper going on.
4. Working overtime suddenly, or out of town business trips- Finding the time to get out of the house without raising suspicion is difficult. Many times, work is used as an excuse. Partners are less likely to question staying late at work, as opposed to “going out with friends”. Over night business trips are also another way to stay out. It is a good idea to question your mate about activity like this. If they seem dishonest, they probably are.
5. Decreased sexual activity, intimacy, and affection from partner – “I’m too tired”, “Not tonight honey”, “I really need to get this work done”, “I don’t feel well”, “Whatever you want”, and “I just don’t have time”, are just a few of the phrases that may be used to avoid physical and emotional contact when a partner is cheating. In some instances, sexual behaviors may increase, or drastically change in nature.
6. Intuition: That disturbing feeling that something is “wrong” – A person’s gut instincts are usually correct. By the time that someone begins to even question the fidelity of a partner, it is usually already too late. Just by asking the question “Is my partner faithful?” can cause us to really look at the relationship critically.
7. When questioned about unusual behavior, the partner responds with “you are crazy”, or being “paranoid” – This behavior is intended to instill doubt. The less self-confidence the other partner has, the more unlikely they are to question these types of remarks.
8. Hiding credit card, cell phone bills, or suspicious purchases – It is typical for a cheating spouse to hide bills, get a new phone, or try to explain away strange purchases. Credit card, cell phone, and computer e-mail accounts are one of the first places to look for evidence of cheating. A detailed account of usage from these bills will usually uncover some repetitive behavior. It may be seeing the same unknown phone number many times, to charges to the same place (e.g. restaurant, bar, hotel).
9. Increasing arguments, usually over minor issues – In an effort to get out of the house as often as possible, a cheating spouse may pick fights or look for trouble. This is an excuse to storm out of the house, providing another opportunity to be with someone else. This activity also gives the cheater a type of “justification” for their infidelity. “They are impossible”, “We just cannot get along”, “No one could live like this”, ect.
10. Increasing time spent on the computer, new e-mail account – E-mail is a very easy way for a cheater to communicate. A new or previously unknown e-mail account should send up a red flag for the partner. It is also typical for a cheater to spend time on the computer after their mate is asleep, as well as clearing the internet history frequently.
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